Archive for February, 2012

Still busy.

Why torture yourself when life’ll do it for you? ~Author Unknown

Yesterday was a beautiful day bright sunny and warm in the sun, although not out of it. So I spent most of the day in the garden, cleaning the green house and tidying. I am however not going to fall into the trap of ‘it’s sunny let’s put the winter clothes away’ which is what I have done the past two years and too be perfectly honesty I don’t think any of my summer clothes will fit anyway, best to stick with the big jumpers. 🙂

And now ….

How Various English Phrases Developed

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the
Water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how
Things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly
Bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water.

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying. It’s raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other
droppings could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, Dirt poor.

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway.
Hence the saying a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon.
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) To listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that’s the truth
Now, whoever said History was boring!


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Busy, busy

Love all, trust a few. Do harm to none.

William Shakespere

The Scream by Edvard Munch is going up for sale, everyone knows that one, so here are a few you may not have seen I quite like his work and especially like The lady from the Sea

I have been listening to George Bernard Shaw’s Man and Superman, J B Priestley’s An inspector Calls and Steve Coogan’s Knowing me Knowing you.

Well given that I am going to be very busy over the next week or so I will leave you with this. Some of you of a certain age will remember it well, others will think it quite… well what can I say, I am a sci-fi nerd

and this
Buy a new husband in New York City….
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the
Shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice”, she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upwards.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.”Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous and Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened
a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited


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The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Last Sunday we went for a walk down the river, and this is where the rant starts. Why can’t people keep control of their dogs or if they can’t then keep them on a lead. There I was walking along minding my own business when up ran a dog and jumped straight up me, covering my coat in mud, this is not the first time this has happen the last time I ended up with a ripped tee-shirt. What if I had been scared of dogs, what if I had been a child or unsteady on my feet, there was quite a drop on the one side of the path, (I know there are a lot of what if’s there). I think I shall start taking my walking pole on even little walks and if a dog trys to jump up a crack on the nose should stop it.

Now the water board are telling us it only takes 4 minutes to take a shower, that’s a bit of a broad statement I wonder if they have factored in all factors like;

Shower type and water pressure, I have taken showers in showers that pump out so much water at such a speed that it hurts when the water hits you, yes it is easy to shower in 4 minutes or less in these showers but they use a lot of water. Water pressure counts too a high pressure area will put out more water so a quicker shower can be taken, low pressure will give less water so a longer time in the shower will be needed.

If the shower heats the water as it is used the first minute is taken up by the shower unit heating the water.

Size of the person/hair, a bigger person will need longer to shower than a smaller person, think about it, (not wanting to put you off your cornflakes), but a larger person has to lift rolls of fat to wash under them and make sure they are rinsed well,(this I know a lot about, haha) while the water will simple run over and rinse a smaller person. The length of hair well that goes without saying longer hair takes more time to wash and rinse.

I know we are short of water, but what about sorting the leaks out, stop car washes in garages, stop washing buildings, can you think of any more?

And yet another email.
A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his Cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.
It had been a cold night, but he’d never thought anything like this
would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.
With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?
He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his
impending poverty. Just then, an elderly woman walked by, “What’s the matter?” asked the old lady. The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.
Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the
cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon
back to normal and chewing the cud. One by one the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals. The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed.
She declined his offer and walked off across the field. A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
“You know who that was don’t you?” asked the passer-by. “No” said the farmer “who?”
“That was Thora Hird.”


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I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. ~Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Happy Pancake Day, Fat Tuesday, Mardi gras or what ever you want to call it.

Let’s see what exciting things have happen in the last few days… nothing really.

I have listened to a couple of plays whilst cleaning cupboards and such, Thirst by Myles Na Gcoplaeen and The Caretaker by Harold Pinter. I have read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman and Stardust also by Neil Gaiman, and spent a pleasant day in the garden, (yes we had one nice dry day).

Went shopping for paper and curtains, we are doing the living-room up soon and I like to make sure I have all the paint and paper etc together before I start dismantling a room. I was quite surprised at the prices, I am well within the budget I set for these things, you have to love a sale. I had looked at the paper on line and worked out the price to be around £200, went to the shop, (because you can’t really be sure of colour when you look on the net) and found it cheaper, £141.68 and that includes the paste. Then I priced thermal lined curtains and found I could get them for between £200 and £250, went off to Dunelm and found a lovely pair with matching cushions for £76.95 and a rail for £27. It can’t last can it; I am not going to complete a room within budget. I have mixed feelings about doing this room up, (as with all rooms in this house it’s never as simple as taking one lot of paper down and putting another up), but is been 15 years since it was last done, the paper won’t take anymore wiping down, the lined curtains now show light through, (but they have lasted well, they are about 18 years old) and the carpet won’t take another wash, on top of that the plaster along the ceiling where it meets the wall is cracking and along the wall where it meets the door frame and the floor boards have started to move. No I am not letting hubby bring anyone in, I am doing it, one it won’t cost as much and two it will be done with care. But before all that we have to do something with the bathroom, yes we had it done last year but the bath is still moving and the floor as join in too.

Oh yes we are now officially in a drought and it’s not even spring. 😦

New Job at the Zoo

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won’t be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them! into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a
new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says “What’s the food like here?”
The lions say: “Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees.”


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Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.


Some parents find fairy tales too scary so they are not reading them to their children.
Fairy tales are tails of caution, they all contain morals. If you do something bad are cruel or continually don’t do as asked you will get your comeuppance. They are a start to learning life lessons and facing our fears in a safe way. Fairy stories are a safe ‘scary,’ and lets face it they see worse on TV and the news which is real.

I have been sent this email a couple of times, so here you go
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver’s door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,”
he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”
“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!”
“OH, MY GOD!” screamed the lawyer.


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The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to depart. ~John, Viscount Morley, Address on Aphorisms

Saturday was a lovely sunny day here, so hubby decided it would be a nice idea to go to Southport, (which is miles away), because we hadn’t been for a long time, and we both like Southport. The nearer we got to the place the further behind the clouds the sun hid until there was no sun left out at all! Well what do you expect at the seaside in February, sun? The place has changed a lot, a lot of the little shops are either closed or have been taken over by coffee shops and the front seemed dirty and unwelcoming. We had a walk down the pier which used to have a little train that you could ride from one end to the other, now however it’s a tram/bus type thing. (I know I should move with the times but you can ride a bus/tram anytime, how often do you get to ride on a little train)? Anyway as I was saying we walked to the end of the pier and went into the café which is build over hanging the sea,  and if you sit by a window and look out it feels like you are on a ship and moving, (which made hubby feel sick, and he wants to go on a cruise, haha). After our cuppa we played on the old penny machines,  10 old pennies cost a £1 which I don’t think is that bad and we had great fun playing football and horse racing, (my horse refused to move), watching the (I don’t know what they are called, little rooms with things that move in them), hubby won some sweets on a grabber machine and I had my palm read by another. Which hubby took the mick out of. Tut, do you want to know what it said and what he said? I am going to tell you anyway.

Card said, your hand denotes great ability for business details hence you are bound to succeed in whatever you take in hand.

Hubby said, yes you are picky.

Card said, you are free hearted and know how to make and spend money

Hubby said, you know how not to spend it. (I find that a bit unfair just because I am careful and like to use up every last bit of everything before I buy any more).

Card said, you are slow to make friends which is a good quality.

Hubby said, you don’t make friends, (well I can’t really argue with that one)

Card said, you have great determination, which should stand you in good stead.

Hubby said, dog with a bone.

Card said, Life for you will not be a bed of roses, but you have courage to overcome obstacles as they arise.

Funnily enough he hadn’t got a smart arse answer to that one.

Card said, you are logical and have splendid will power which is a great asset.

Hubby said, stubborn.

Card said, you are fond of the good things of life and like comforts to an advanced degree.

To which we both said WHAT?


I have listen to Dead Souls by Nicolai Gogol and read THUD! By Terry Pratchett, both good fun.

This will be me then,  I was a shy child, I am now called quiet. Why? Because I don’t feel the need to tell people I meet for the first time all my life story, discuss my private life, I prefer to know the person a little better before I do all that. I will say nothing that can be used against me at a later date, haha.


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Where does the white go when the snow melts?  ~Hugh Kieffer

We have had another light covering of snow nothing to get excited about. I spent most of last week cleaning kitchen cupboards and the fridge and freezers as well as all the day to day stuff, sorting out old blog posts which will end up on here somewhere and listening too a few plays namely

Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis

Neil Gaiman’s The tragical comedy or comical tragedy of Mr. Punch.

A L Kennedy’s I want my life back.

Angela Carter’s Puss in Boots. (a fairy tale for grown ups).

Susan Hill’s The Woman in Black.

This is an interesting read it’s funny how we think about things changes

And here’s another email

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES – LET’S
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
Letters: WOMAN HITLER Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).


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