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Archive for January, 2011

Daft email

Universal truths

 

 

 

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.

4) Everyone who grew up in the 80′s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

5) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

6) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

7) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

8 ) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

9) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

10) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

11) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

12) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

15) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

16) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

17) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.

18) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

19) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

20) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

21) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard

22) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

23) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

🙂 🙂 🙂

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Huff

Just a short one to say, I am reading you all but for some

 reason I can no longer comment on blogger sites. I am

 working on it.

🙂

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Life is simple, it’s just not easy. ~Author Unknown

I went back to the doctors this morning to be told I now have Pleurisy. Roll on summer.

Then I popped into the DIY/garden centre as I want to find something to replace the Cordylines the winter had killed, as I stood pondering whether or not to replace them with more Cordylines or something else I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see someone I had not seen in over 30 years. So we had a bit of a chat as we shopped. I shall call her B. I met B when I first left school and started my first job, you know how sometimes you meet someone and you just click, well that was us. She wasn’t there long as she was offered a job in Italy and took it. Anyway she is back in the UK because of a family death and she has to sort out the details and the will and all that type of stuff. As we chatted we were amazed at how much our lives had in common, both of us are on our second marriages having both had violent first marriages, both of us have one child of our own and two step-children, and both of us have very similar health problems, and both of us have taken up similar hobbies, isn’t life funny. In the end I brought two Lavender plants for the pots and some white radish seeds, bright lights radish seeds, pepper collection which included Antohi Romanian, Golden Bell, Friggitello, jalapeno, Hungarian hot wax and red Cherry, and a tomato collection of garden Pearl, Golden sunrise, marmande, Red cherry, San Marzano and tigerella.

🙂

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Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

At 5 this morning I went out the back to gather up the rubbish bags and I could have sworn it was snowing, so I gathered the bags and opened the gate, walked down the entry thinking about the snow and frighten a fox, so who did jump highest?

🙂

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The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

This week the BBC morning news is running a ‘How to make yourself happy’ slot. Yesterday it was write a thank you letter to someone and then read it to them. I am fine with the idea of writing the thank you letter, and receiving one, it’s the reading it bit that I am not keen on. I know I would feel very uncomfortable if someone read out a thank you letter meant for me to me. I hate the over gushy thank you’s that some people do, and I know its because they want you to think yours is the best gift they have been given and I know some people quite like it, I find it very embarrassing. A simple thank you will suffice, thank you.

it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to work this one out does it? Britain’s economic recovery is not going well, why? Well to put it simply people are not spending. Right so Fred Blogs takes home £200 a week, his out goings used to be £100 a week, that gave him £100 to spend on holidays/meals out/ getting his house done up, now due to the rise in gas/electric/petrol/VAT/food, his weekly out goings are £160 a week. He puts the other £40 away for the day he goes into work to be told he no longer has job. You can’t tell me its come as a big surprise.

Number 1 had another DVD, this time Rendition, a very gritty film about a CIA man Douglas Freeman who questions what he sees on an assignment, when an innocent man is taken under the rendition law. A very good ‘make you think film’

🙂

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clipart

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o’ the puddin-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hudies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o’ need,
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An’ cut ye up wi’ ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reeking, rich!

Then horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
‘Bethankit!’ hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As fecl;ess as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Tho’ bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll make it whistle;
An’ legs, an’ arms, an’ heads will sned
Like taps o’ thrissle.

Ye pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware,
That jaups in luggies;
But if ye wish her gratfu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

And for those who found that hard (me), here it is in English

Fair full your honest, jolly face,
Great chieftain of the sausage race!
Above them all you take your place,
Stomach, tripe, or intestines:
Well are you worthy of a grace
As long as my arm.

The groaning trencher there you fill,
Your buttocks like a distant hill,
Your pin would help to mend a mill
In time of need,
While through your pores the dews distill
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour wipe,
And cut you up with ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like any ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm steaming, rich!

Then spoon for spoon, the stretch and strive:
Devil take the hindmost, on they drive,
Till all their well swollen bellies by-and-by
Are bent like drums;
Then old Master of the house, most like to burst,
‘The grace!’ hums.

Is there that over his French ragout,
Or olio that would sicken a sow,
Or fricassee would make her throw-up
With perfect disgust,
Looks down with sneering, scornful view
On such a dinner?

Poor devil! see him over his trash,
As feeble as a withered rush,
His thin legs a good whip-lash,
His fist a nut;
Through bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his ample fist a blade,
He will make it whistle;
And legs, and arms, and heads will crop
Like tops of thistle.

You powers, who make mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill of fare,
Old Scotland want no watery ware,
That splashes in small wooden dishes;
But is you wish her grateful prayer,
Give her a Haggis!

If you have only ever seen the Haggis on a plate here it is alive and well

heeheeheehee

🙂

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I’ve learned…
That to ignore the
Facts does not
Change the facts.

Here we go again petrol/gas/electric rationing, what do you think? If I have read this right, (and it is more than possible I haven’t), we would end up paying twice for fuel, the first time as we do now and then for top-ups on what we use over.

And this is just unbelievable, soon we will have no contacted with people at all first do-it-yourself checkouts at super markets, now do-it-yourself doctoring, what next buy a take away operation kit and do your own ops?

Scotland have had a earthquake,

 and more floods in Australia

and lets not forget the food crisis

Oh and after several hour on the computer the cheapest car insurance hubby could find was nearly £200 more than last year, but what can you do, you can’t drive round without it, well you can and I dare say there will be a lot more uninsured cars on the road this year.

And on that happy note I will leave you.

😦

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